Transcript:
We are moving toward opening up our communities once again. Like I’ve said in the past, I’m not able to give medical advice re: medical conditions. However, I can speak to anxiety and fear.
Anytime we’ve avoiding something that has us concerned, we actually increase our anxieties. As a country we’ve been avoiding exposure to a particular disease. But then our anxiety actually compels us to avoid it more. In general, to reduce anxiety, we have to approach what we are anxious about. Think about fears of public speaking – you actually have to do it in order to reduce the fear. The more you do it, the more you get used to it.
Opening our communities means that we’re going to approach things we’ve been avoiding (as in, shopping, seeing more people in person, attending church, being with unknown people at restaurants, working next to people…).
Tricks to use
I want to give you some tricks on how to keep our anxiety as low as possible.
#1: Breathe
Breathing helps us face our fears. It helps reduce anxiety.
#2: Grab a piece of paper and a pen.
Draw out a line – 1 to 10.
1 is Almost certain safety.
10 is almost certain death.
In a minute, I’ll have you pause me and write out some activities, behaviors, events on this continuum based on where they fall in terms of almost certain safety and almost certain death.
My kids thought that “playing with a cobra” would be a 10. I thought that “sleeping at home with our doors locked” would be a good 1.
Now – I say almost certain safety, because there is risk in everything.
And I say “almost certain death” because most situations include safety measures, and we never know what help or protection might come.
Now here’s your chance to pause and think about activities, behaviors, or events related to reopening communities and reentering life and relationships. Based on what you know, what would fall closer to almost certain safety, and what would fall closer to almost certain danger?
Seriously—this is your chance to pause and try it.
In general we avoid 10s in life. That’s ok. It’s built into us. We like life. Life is good.
We also tend to limit 1s because it’s almost impossible to live a full life in 1s.
I had a friend joke that she wanted to wrap her kids in bubble wrap. That would be living a life in 1. Unless they suffocate in the plastic… in which case, we’d have to move it up the scale.
In general, as we stay below 5, our hope is that there’s more chance of experiencing comfort and peace, less fear. As we hit 5 and above, we enter a zone that increases the likelihood of pain.
Not always, but in general. In our minds we tend to associate pain with “bad.” So sometimes we start to avoid 6-9 (instead of just avoiding almost certain death).
In this event, we’ve had to not only avoid 6-9s, we’ve had to avoid things that are generally associated with the 1-5 section. Going to church, generally a safe practice, is now something we’ve avoided for a few months.
Going to the park, going grocery shopping, going to work… these activities have become 9s and 10s just by virtue of the situation at hand.
The problem is, when we make an 8 into the new 10, and begin to see 8 at “almost certain death” instead of 10, we start avoiding 7, just to be safe. We’ve been behaving (because we’ve needed to) as though 3s and 4s are 10.
Because of this, our lives have gotten smaller and smaller and our fear can start to get bigger and bigger – even in our effort to live more safely.
The purpose of this line exercise is to remind us that most activities are not truly a 10. It helps us take steps forward, reengage with life, and expand our world without overwhelming anxiety. Going out again is unlikely to lead to almost certain death, even if some messaging has made it feel that way. The line helps us view risk more objectively so we can make decisions based on measured risk. Because the reality is, we can never achieve complete safety—we are always measuring risk. Which brings me to my next point.
#3 Focus on the Facts
I heard a report a couple weeks ago on a radio station and the reporter said, “60 out of 64 counties in Colorado have reported confirmed cases of this particular disease.” This an interesting angle – as it was pointing to the fact that MOST counties have confirmed cases.
I thought it was interesting he didn’t point out that by and large MOST people don’t have this particular disease.
Do some digging to find the most solid facts you can. Facts ground our emotions and help regulate anxiety. One helpful practice during this time was comparing confirmed cases in my county to the total population. That gave me a clearer picture of the actual risk I was choosing to take. At the time, only .0019% of people in our county had confirmed cases, meaning the likelihood of encountering someone infected in daily life was very low—and even lower that I’d contract the virus from that interaction. Facts like these can help you decide where certain activities fall on your comfort line.
In the end, I believe these three things – breathing, the measuring your risk on the 1-10 scale, and focusing on facts – will help you re-enter life again with confidence and peace.
Written by Dr. Veronica Johnson
