| Are you in a Hard Relationship? Jan had a tough relationship with her mom. There were no hugs, no kisses, no “I love yous.” Jan grew up feeling lonely and unloved. Her mom favored Jan’s brother emotionally and financially, while ignoring Jan much of the time. When she did pay attention to Jan, her mom used mean words. Jan stayed away when she could, sometimes at the risk of her own safety. If Jan got sick, she went to the doctor or hospital by herself. Finances were tight and it was Jan’s problem to fix. A Hard Relationship Gets Harder In the course of time, Jan became an adult and her mom developed dementia. Because Jan valued her mother, she chose to care for her as much as she could, even while living in a different country. Having already lost her dad, she knew she would regret not being involved in her mom’s life. In addition to all the maddening characteristics of dementia, Jan’s mom called her names, blamed Jan for the pain, and demanded Jan’s attention 24-7. For several years, Jan walked her mom through injuries (even a heart attack while on the phone), calmed her through hallucinations, and talked to her multiple times daily at all times of the day and night. No matter what Jan did, what she sacrificed, what she paid for, Jan’s mom reminded her she was not a good daughter. Jan felt as though she would bust at the seams; nevertheless, she chose to care for her mom to the end. She was convinced it was good for her to love her mom despite it all. As she imagined looking back on her own life, she wanted the satisfaction of having honored her mom. Enduring Hard Leads to Surprising Places After her mom passed away, Jan worked to focus on the good her mom did offer her. She intentionally remembered specific encouragement her mom gave at pivotal times in her life. She tried to understand her mom’s actions in light of the difficulties her mom had experienced. Over time, Jan said she began to think of her mom differently. The sting of her mom’s words didn’t hurt anymore. She realized that her mom did love her…in the only way her mom knew how to show love. Four years after her mom’s death, Jan actually experienced gratitude for the time she had spent caring for her mom. Written By: Dr. Veronica Johnson Are you the kind of person that wants to endure in a relationship, even though you feel like you might not make it through? Call us at 720-WELCOME |
Great Facebook Reel: To Have and To Hold
Check this out for some inspiring and humorous thoughts about how we can improve our mindset about our spouse.
Great Quote:
“Blame, in my experience, is the thing that allows you to stop asking questions.”
Phil Vaughan
Past & Upcoming Events
- Saturday, May 16, 2026 Joy McGowan and Dr. Veronica Johnson hosted a table at the Catholic Mental Health Ministry Conference in Colorado Springs. The main topic was “The Psychology of Integration: A Holistic View of the Human Person.”
- June 21, 2026 Dr. Veronica Johnson will speak at Castle Oaks Covenant Church in Castle Rock. The sermon series focuses on our life with God. Veronica’s sermon will be addressing the pain we experience in life with God.
Please visit Envision Counseling Clinic at https://www.envisionclinic.com
