Replacing Negative Beliefs
By Marissa Halstead
In my previous blog, I defined what a negative belief is and shared the hope that we can overcome them. In this post, I want to focus on the how behind healing negative beliefs. There are several counseling approaches that support this work, but I’ll be drawing from a Narrative Therapy perspective, which closely aligns with my counseling style.
Externalization
When we are entrenched in a negative belief, it can feel like it’s woven into the fabric of who we are. We begin to treat it as part of our identity—wearing it like a badge, even when it doesn’t serve us.
A common example I hear in my office is someone saying, “I am depressed.” It may seem like a small distinction, but I often encourage clients to reframe this as, “I am struggling with depression.” Do you notice the difference? The second feels lighter—and it’s more accurate. We are not our struggles; we are people impacted by them.
When we externalize a belief, we create space between ourselves and the problem, making it easier to understand—and ultimately, to change.
Deconstruction
Deconstruction involves breaking negative beliefs into smaller, more manageable parts. This makes them easier to examine and understand. In narrative therapy, every belief—or “story”—has an origin and a function in a person’s life.
While not every therapist takes this approach, I find it valuable to explore where a negative belief began. Understanding its roots adds important context and can open the door to deeper healing. This process often helps shift clients from self-blame toward self-compassion. Lasting healing rarely grows out of shame.
Unique Outcomes
Sometimes called “sparkling moments,” unique outcomes are instances that don’t fit within a person’s dominant negative belief. These moments challenge the idea that the negative story is absolute.
For example, when working with someone experiencing depression, I might help them identify times when they moved toward connection, joy, or meaning. These moments disrupt the narrative and offer evidence that the negative belief is not the whole story. Over time, this helps clients begin to see themselves through a more balanced, strength-based lens.
Re-Authoring / Re-Storying
One of my favorite parts of being a therapist is helping clients re-author their stories. Together, we build new, more accurate, and empowering narratives that support healing.
A core idea in narrative therapy is this: the person is not the problem—the problem is the problem. Negative beliefs often trap us in narrow, distorted stories about who we are. But people are complex, especially in the midst of pain, and they deserve stories that reflect that complexity.
By developing a new narrative—one that is more truthful and compassionate—clients can begin to heal and move toward living as their best selves.
