Connection is Key
Written By: Veronica Johnson, Licensed Psychologist
“I just want to feel better.” We hear this a lot at Envision Counseling Clinic. Understandably mental health and relationship concerns feel lousy. However, I want to be clear that the opposite of mental health and relationship problems isn’t feeling better; the opposite is connection with fellow humans. Connection is key.
In order to move toward mental and relationship health, we have to face some hard things. For example, therapy may require you to own up to some harmful things you’ve done. Healing often requires forgiving people who’ve harmed us. We might need to learn a new way of relating. The tasks that allow us to step away from anxiety, depression, addictions, etc. are just plain hard. We can only face these hard things in connection.
And, by the way, social media is not connection – not the kind that heal. The relationships required to walk through pain are mutual and honest. The kind of relationships that heal are forged over time with repeated contact. Both people attempt to understand what the other person is going through. If this sounds like Greek to you, consider checking out Safe People by Drs. Cloud and Townsend.
Connection is key, BUT (this is a big but) friendships should not focus entirely on pain, growth, and digging through past hurts. (Blech!) Friendships are based on mutual interests and values, frequent contact, and enjoyment. So go have fun! Then in the midst of living life together, sometimes opportunities arise to go deeper. Challenge yourself to go deeper in these moments. In other words, be honest. Freedom and healing result when we are in honest, humble connection with others, over time.
