Written by Marissa Halstead January 19, 2026
Continuing from my previous blog about parenting done well, there are four, well-documented and observed parenting styles. Not every parent fits into one of these categories, and certainly parents oscillate between parenting styles. Though this list and the examples are not exhaustive, the theme of each parenting style is what matters. Observing our own parenting styles can allow us to see if adjustment is needed. Am I avoiding confrontation with my child? Am I being too harsh without ample support?
Our goal is definitely not perfection. Too many parenting books have been written that only cause parents anxiety that they are not doing it the right way. But the fact that you are reading this blog testifies to your own desire to be healthy and love your children well. Read on and see if you can pick a theme that you tend towards.
Permissive
The permissive parenting style contains a high amount of warmth and closeness, and a low amount of rules and structure. This is probably the style that comes to mind when most older generations think of the term “gentle parenting.” Unlike true gentle parenting, permissive parenting seemingly overindulges the child for the sake of avoiding conflict. Due to the conflict avoidance, there is often a lack of rules, or at least the enforcement of said rules. These are the types of parents that build a friendship with their children before it is developmentally appropriate.
Authoritarian
On the opposite side of the spectrum, authoritarian parents have a high amount of rules and structure along with a low amount of closeness and warmth. These parents expect their children to bend to their wishes, and they do not seek to work with their children. When you think of authoritarian parents, think of super strict rules with very little grace. The punishments of these parents may seem out of proportion.
Neglectful
The next parenting style is neglectful parenting, which has la low amount of both warmth and rules. These parents may be disinterested or they may be unable to provide the parenting they want to. They do not meet their children’s needs, including the need for direction and nurturing. They are detached and uninvolved in their children’s daily lives.
Authoritative
Lastly, authoritative parenting includes both high levels of warmth and closeness along with high levels of rules and structure. Authoritative parenting is considered best for children in general. This parenting style has firm boundaries, but also an immense amount of support for the child. These parents encourage independence and age-appropriate development, all the while being a warm, loving example that uses reasoning. True “gentle parenting” would actually be in this category, as it emphasizes consistent love, boundaries, and emotion regulation.
Please remember: No parent is perfect and every child is different and has unique needs. My hope in providing these categories is to help simplify how you think about your parenting. Do you have high warmth, but are soft on rules? Do you have high expectations, but rarely hug your child? We are all in the category of “fallible parent,” so you are among friends no matter what style of parenting you find yourself in. May we all seek to be healthy parents who bring up our children well.
