Written By: Marissa Halstead, LPC
February 2, 2026
Recently, I have been listening to the podcast “Why She Stayed” by Grace Stuart to learn more from testimonials from women who have been in relationships where there is domestic abuse. Domestic abuse can also be referred to as intimate partner violence, I will use these terms interchangeably. Unfortunately, intimate partner violence may be more common than you expect, so it is important to be aware of it.
Much like other relational issues, domestic abuse does not appear out of thin air, there are often warning signs. While these are not all of the warning signs of abuse, they are worth paying attention to. Abusers usually push for quick involvement. They may say things like, “I’ve never loved anyone like this before so quickly,” and push for commitment faster than what you may feel is typical. Things in the beginning may seem so wonderful and almost too good to be true. This term is often referred to as “love bombing,” to keep their victims emotionally attached. Abusers are often jealous and controlling. They may tell you who you can and cannot speak with, what you wear, insist on keeping your money, and may interrogate you about your whereabouts. They want to be your priority, often at all costs.
According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline website, “Domestic violence is the willful intimidation, physical assault, battery, sexual assault, and/or other abusive behavior as part of a systematic pattern of power and control perpetrated by one intimate partner against another. It includes physical violence, sexual violence, psychological violence, and emotional abuse.” This is why when we think of domestic abuse, our minds go to being physically hit. For a more expansive list of what is all included as domestic violence, see the list on the National Domestic Violence website.
The main thing to remember, it is not your fault if you are being abused. Many victims of intimate partner violence feel as if there is something wrong with them for the abuse happening. IT IS NEVER THE VICTIMS FAULT. No one can “make” someone be abusive. If you think that you may be experiencing intimate partner violence, reach out and seek counseling. Leaving is often the most dangerous time for a victim of intimate partner violence, as the abuser is actively losing their power and control. Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline (800-799-7233) for support and resources that will keep you safe and help get you what you need.
