By Marissa Halstead, LPC
I was always very interested in developmental psychology. The ways in which children grow and form into adults with various quirks (or lack thereof) has always been fascinating to me. In graduate school, I learned there are a variety of factors which contribute to why we are the way we are: we are all different as individuals with different temperaments, personalities, and biological dispositions. Parenting is also a large piece of why we develop as we do. While I do not fully believe babies are completely blank slates because of these things, I do think parenting can either help or hurt what was already there at birth.
I am a mother to two little girls under three years old, so I am very invested in all things parenting. Like many others, I want to raise good, moral, successful individuals who have strong integrity and benefit society. Approaches to parenting among recent generations sometimes seem to be starkly different. Speaking with my grandparents, they are often appalled at some of what younger generations are doing with their children. “Kids these days have no respect,” is something I have heard from them on more than one occasion. Where I think some of those comments come from a lack of understanding of different parenting styles, some of it seems to be valid. In the almost three years that I have been a parent, I have seen the difference a tuned-in parent makes on a child versus a parent that is mentally checked out.
In writing this, my intention is not to shame anyone or add to the “mom guilt,” as I have enough of that myself. Instead, I want to encourage parents to stay involved. Our children need more guidance than what society at large is giving them. Parents offer their children gifts when they give them guidance.
When the bible says, “He who withholds the rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him diligently” (Proverbs 13:24 NASB), the emphasis is on leading, guiding, and having boundaries for our children to follow. Children do well when they are given guideposts. Every family has different values and personalities that will shape the tone of the household and the guidance given. Never the less, it seems like the Bible teaches us that parenting should be an intentional act.
Parenting is probably one of the most exhausting things I have ever done, but it is by far one of the most rewarding. May we all seek to parent our children well.
