We Have a Choice
Written by Dr. Veronica Johnson
October 15, 2025
We have a choice every time we do something. We have a choice every time we don’t do something. Every time. When I was angry at my husband this past weekend, I had a choice of texting him, of what words I would use, of pressing send. What would I choose?
The Choice by Dr. Edith Eva Eger gives an incredible example of this truth. Dr. Eger was a victim in the holocaust and lost many in her family. Dr. Eger’s life took turns she never would have chosen, but she chose to not allow other people’s choices determine her ability to live a full life. Despite the horrors and tragedies she endured, she always had a choice of how to live now. Her decision to choose well in spite of her trauma inspires me.
I have an aunt and uncle that married young. They committed to each other early in life and at some point, things got too hard and they divorced. They stayed in contact, though, and after some years decided to remarry. They were together until my uncle’s recent death. They had a choice. Their decision to recommit despite past hurts moves me.
I’ve observed a destructive belief: the current situation determines what the future will be. This belief is a fear, actually. It’s a fear that whatever hard emotions I am feeling right now will be still here 1 year, 5 years, 20 years from now. In fact, we become sure life will not only stay bad, it will get worse. When we believe that we are being dragged along in life and will end up in a place worse than now, we feel compelled to run.
And run we do! We run by ending meaningful relationships. We run by numbing out to life (eating, drinking, using weed, gaming, over-engaging in anything). We run by justifying our bad behavior. We run by blaming others for our dissatisfaction. But we have a choice, even in our sprints away from life. When alcoholics choose not to drink this one drink; when a compulsive shopper decides to not press “add to cart;” when a withdrawer stays engaged in the argument, their decision encourages me.
My husband, who is not an optimist, has said, “Our best years are ahead of us.” I appreciate his comment because it reminds me that I have a choice of how I will live. We’ve had some good years (we were married for 11 years without kids!) and we’ve had some tough years (we’ve been through an organ transplant, cancer, plus my husband is married to me, so…). But we always have a choice of how this next moment is going to be.
Why not make a choice to engage in life and make it better. One choice after another. But for now, just one choice. What will you choose?
